Turkey for you and turkey FOR me...

Today marks 2 weeks since starting the allergen elimination diet. I wasn't sure I'd ever make it. Ever. But there hasn't been one bit of cheating and it looks like its paying off. I'm thrilled to report that Mason is feeling soooo much better! He still spits up, but its probably not any more than any other baby his age. Most importantly though, the non-stop crying has finally stopped! Our old friend Gripe Water has been lonely and abandoned for several days now. I can't convey how relieved I am. Thanks everyone for your advice and words of comfort.

But now that we know it was mostly (if not completely) caused by something I was eating, it means that I can't just quit now at two weeks. Looks like turkey and rice will be on the menu for a while yet. I do get to add other things in now, one at a time, and I figured apples wouldn't be too bad since I've been craving something fresh. I couldn't do the fresh pear thing so I've been baking them. Last night I went to the grocery store and stocked up on 15 bucks worth of honeycrisp apples. Oh. My... They are like heaven's candy to me right now! Worth every dime.

Now that one crisis is under control, we've decided that it might be time to move him into his own room. He's been sleeping next to our bed in a cradle of sorts since birth. Its so convenient having him so close at night that I just assumed we might start making the switch around six months or so, once he would be too big to stay in the little bed. Even though there are probably 1,002 reasons why, he still isn't sleeping well. Every morning after Matt leaves, Mason ends up in the bed next to me with his arms stretched out over his head. *Don't ever say you won't do something with your child (like co-sleep) because I assure you, you will!*

Last night we did the unthinkable. We abandoned our first-born in a dark, lonely room a mile down the hall. But you know what? He didn't seem to care! Granted, he didn't sleep any better, but I really didn't expect him to the first night. Maybe the point is that it wasn't any worse! You know what the very best part was? Matt totally got up with him just as many times as I did! Epic. All this time, I've been the lone ranger at night because he only woke up to eat. I might have been a little resentful of this on occasion and I may or may not have kicked dear husband once for not waking up and "at least playing like I wasn't in this alone!" I have labeled the man a Sleep Wuss for all intents and purposes, but he really stepped it up last night. We'll see if he takes a nap when he gets home from work today. : )

First outing with the stroller-- Shopping? Meh...

And since I have absolutely no life anymore, I'll tell you something else about the kid. He's going to be four months old next week and that, to me, is crazy. Aside from all the tummy drama, he really is doing great. He rolled over (intentionally, repeatedly) a day after turning 3 months and a week later he was pretty much sitting up.

Coolest hair ever. : ) 3 1/2 months!

At the moment, Little Dude is happily sitting on the floor, playing with his favorite toy... a Tonka truck. Boys will be boys, I guess! I'm considering re-naming him Hooch, though, because of the steady stream of drool flowing from his gummy little mouth. Ah, teething...

NomNomNom...

He has been quite the helper with the laundry lately. Maybe he'll learn how to wash his own diapers?! Yeah, I don't think so either... a girl can dream.

MXC

Have you ever seen the show Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, a.k.a. MXC on Spike? You should youtube it if not. Your life will be better for it, trust me. : )

Unfortunately I'm talking about a different MXC.

You see, my sweet, chill, happy little baby has become possessed. He screams bloody murder most hours of the day and no longer sleeps through the night like he has been since his 3rd week. Top that off with the giant puke splatters regularly landing on my floor, furniture, clothes, hair, you name it, and I've been dangerously close to losing it. But even with that, I'd do laundry all day if it meant my little guy didn't have to hurt so bad.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Even the prescription antacid wasn't helping anymore, so I turned to my old friend, Google.

We've tried everything from sleeping at an incline to homeopathic remedies to prescription drugs, but there was one other culprit I hadn't given much credit to. ME. Since he is exclusively breastfed, I'm trying a total elimination diet in an attempt to get to the bottom of Mason's colic/reflux/allergy/sensitivity issues. It is quite extreme in my opinion, and quite challenging for a fatty like me. Not nearly as awesome as the real MXC, fo sho.

The info can be found here, but it's referenced lots of places. It basically takes the idea of eliminating certain foods from your diet one by one to see if it was causing the problems, and turns it around so that you eliminate almost everything then add one thing back at a time. I can currently eat organic turkey, potatoes, rice, squash, and pears. SO exciting! I have been getting a little more creative in the kitchen as a result. I realized I can have rice chex and rice krispies with rice milk in the morning, and throwing in ground turkey instead of only "thanksgiving style" has helped me feel like its normal food. Last night I thanked my lucky Mormon stars when I had the thought to use my wheat grinder to make rice flour to use as a thickener. Sauce! I miss sauce...

Anyway, it's the first time I've ever been so diligent with a diet. It changes everything when the stakes are as high as your child's health and happiness. It will be one week tomorrow since I took him off the Zantac and started this and I do think its helping. Its a good thing because I was one bleeding eardrum away from walking out in front of a train. We've only used the gripe water once today AND we opened up his stroller and went to the mall! WhatWhat!?

I think the main offenders are probably dairy (since I am still somewhat intolerant, too, but not enough to pass up a bowl of ice cream), caffeine, wheat, and soy. Don't know for sure yet, there may be others or it may be one simple thing. I guess we'll find out in time.

My question to all you out there (BOTH of you!), is: Do you have any experience with babies with food allergies? What did it take to ease the insane reflux? How long did you have to restrict your diet, if that's what helped? Recipes? Restaurant options?

I know he'll grow out of it eventually, but I had reflux as a baby and still have issues that come up, literally. In the mean time, I'd like for all three of us around here to enjoy this fleeting time, and not wish it away.

The Event

Matt had to work 12 hour night shifts last week because of some possible drama at the plant. He is usually a "straight days" kind of guy so, being the night owl that I am (or was), I was looking forward to some quality time with Netflix. I don't watch much TV and the only show I follow is typically viewed online weeks later but I found a series that I vaguely remembered being interesting when I had seen the commercials, so I started it. I had at least several nights to occupy so the fact that there were 22 episodes didn't stop me.

It was called The Event. Pretty intense, suspenseful in a TV sort of way, you never really knew who the good guys and bad guys were, and someone was ALWAYS running for their life. Probably not a good idea to watch while at home alone because my bad dreams always always involve someone chasing me, trying to kill me. Turns out it was about the eminent takeover by an alien race, because that dead horse hasn't been beaten enough.

One night when I finally decided to go to bed I made my rounds, turning off lights, locking doors, setting the alarm, etc. I fell asleep around 3:00 and Matt would be home in less than 3 hours.

A seemingly short while later I was startled awake, not by a baby crying, but by my phone buzzing like mad and loud yelling in my living room. You know how in scary movies the people always go towards creepy danger instead of away from it and you think, "Moron, you deserve to die if you go willingly down into that dark basement."

Well, sure enough, I ran down the hall and into the living room to find my security system siren going with a woman frantically asking, "Mr. Ruggles is everything okay?" and the back door dead bolt latch thing being slammed as someone was trying to break into my house.

I almost had a heart attack.

It was Matt. I forgot to leave one of the inside latches open so he could get in when he came home! He set the alarm off by opening the garage door and only had a minute to get inside to the panel to disarm it. When he couldn't get into the house, he tried calling me and then the security people started calling him. He had his face stuck through the 2 inch opening in the back door, yelling to the operator talking through the panel inside. It's hilarious to think about now but I was seriously freaked out at the time.

I guess it serves me right for watching that stupid show and staying up wayyy later than I should have. Good to know the alarm works!

Baby of Mine

Most of you know by now, but it's time to make it official on the ol' neglected blog!

Mason Merritt Ruggles was born October 31st at 3:31 p.m. We got our Halloween baby after all! He was a sturdy 8 lb 13 oz and 20 in!

Tonight I was catching up on the blog of a friend who is ready to have her little boy any minute and it made me realize I need to write down our "experience" before I forget too much more of it. Feel free to close this tab now if you don't want to hear yet another chick's war story. For the rest of you, I guess its more for me to remember than anything, soo...

My original due date was always Nov 5th. The doctor never changed it but my calculations put it a week earlier so I was hoping for a Halloween birthday ever since we found out in March! It's my favorite holiday and we have tons of holiday birthdays in our family so it seemed only fitting.

In all fairness, I feel like I had a realllly easy pregnancy after I stopped puking my brains out for the first 19 weeks or so... but by the end of October, it was getting increasingly difficult to stay positive. The last two weeks got uncomfortable but I tried not to whine because what do you say? "I'm freakin' huge. I can't sleep. My skin doesn't even fit me anymore, much less clothes. My hips, back, feet, ribs, etc. HURT." But the only sympathy you get is, "Oh I know! For me it was..." and then they proceed to tell you just how much more horrible they had it than you. Thanks. No, really. I just kept telling myself not to complain because if I couldn't handle whatever it was at that moment, then I was in trouble because labor pain and sleepless nights with a newborn would be sooo much worse.

I complained anyway.

The Friday before what was to be D-Day on Monday totally messed with my head. I spent all day doing laundry, the last few dishes, packing my bag (because I hadn't yet) and being giddy in general because I just knew we were headed to the hospital that evening. I had been having contractions since sometime that morning and even though it wasn't the 31st, I could compromise if he would just get out of me already! Well, at some point that afternoon, in all the excitement of getting everything ready, I noticed that I didn't notice the contractions anymore. NO!! Wait! Come back!! We're doing this today!

Turns out, Little Dude (as he was known, since we didn't tell anyone the name before) had other plans. I proceeded to pout the rest of the weekend. After all, there I was... Halloween weekend. No decorations put up because, why, really. No plans, due to similar logic. And now, no baby.

I was becoming convinced that he was far too comfortable and that he would never, ever come out. Irrational? Yes. But that's what happens when you have something inside your body that you're supposed to be in love with but you aren't even convinced is human, much less yours, much less cute and cuddly that you might want to keep around. I told several people that I was keeping my receipt until I knew for sure I wanted it! So maternal, I know.

Sunday evening, I went to my mom's (massage therapist!) in desperation. Until then, any time she massaged my back or feet she avoided certain spots that are "dangerous" on preggos because they can induce labor. That time, those were the only spots she hit. If nothing else, I thought, it felt good and I could get some sympathy from my mom. We went to bed that night in an odd frame of mind. Matt just assumed all weekend that he wouldn't be going back to work Monday but with the alarm set for just a few hours from then, it seemed his impression was wrong.

Well, coupled with a few other "techniques," the massage worked. I started having contractions again at 3:30 Monday morning. Instead of getting my hopes up again I just went back to sleep. Around 5:00 I woke up again, annoyed that my back hurt and decided to use the stopwatch feature on my cheapo watch and see how far apart they were, just for grins. Maybe 4 minutes? Then good grief, the kid kicked me so hard I made an audible UGH! Matt was to be waking up any time now so I just stayed perfectly still and quiet until he got up because I know how much I haaaate being awakened just before the alarm.

Alarm goes off. Finally... He's getting up... I think I'll go get in the tub because this kinda sucks all of a sudden...

He hits snooze. WHAT? Man, get up already! I'm in pain and I'd like to be able to move without freaking you out!

Snooze, again! Too bad buster, I'm just going to quietly go to the bathroom. Remember that really hard kick? Evidently that was my water breaking. Just didn't know until I got up. I told Matt through awkward nervous giggles that we were going to have the baby TODAY! I couldn't believe it was actually going to happen on Halloween! Sweet!

Naturally, he wigged out. Totally calm on the outside, panic stricken on the inside.

You see, I had this plan all along that I was going to have a natural birth, at home until the last possible minute I could get away with. I didn't want all those unnecessary hospital interventions, most especially, they were NOT cutting this thing out of me. I had watched too many documentaries and decided things would happen a certain way. But now my water had broken and that was one of the 2 scenarios my Dr. gave for "...then you'd need to head to the hospital."

Dang.

So I showered, dried my hair, straightened it, packed a few more things, talked to Mocha for a bit, said goodbye, and finally got in the car. Matt was trying to be patient. I told him I needed a Dr. Pepper since all I'd get once there would be ice chips and I was not okay with that. We went to Sonic. : )

We got to the hospital (10 min away) about 2 hours after the water thing... I hadn't pre-registered. Did I mention I had a serious case of denial? Serious. So they checked me out, called my Dr. and admitted me. (I've always thought it was strange to casually discuss the status of your cervix in normal conversation, but hey, its my blog. I can TMI if I want to.)

I was at 2cm. That's all?! The Doc decided they would start me on pitocin to get things moving along. Dr. Rising, you sell out! This was not in the plan! Suddenly my head started spinning with phrases from all those darn documentaries! All I could think was, "Great. Now I'll have artificial, artificially painful contractions that are going to be so bad that I won't be able to handle it on my own and I'll freak out and get the epidural then labor will slow down because I can't feel anything and it will take forever and they'll start getting worried about the baby then he'll go into distress which is just a catchall for 'I've got plans tonight so we need to get the baby out now' and the only way is a c-section so we're taking you back now blah blah blah..." AHHH!!! I might have over reacted to the pitocin proposal a liiiiittle bit.

They started it at 10:00. I wouldn't even sit on the bed for them to start the IV because I was so mad about being there and having to have a needle in my arm. Grr.. My nurse (angel that she was, more about her later) let me sit in the rocking chair instead. We watched a little TV. I continued pouting.

By 12:00 Dr. Rising had come in and I resisted the urge to kick him in the shin. He said I was now 5 cm and seemed pleased. I was sure they kept upping that stupid pitocin but they swore they didn't. I won't lie, that crap hurt. I was to the point that I couldn't really get my head straight after a contraction before another one was coming. So I decided I'd have a little hit of nubain in the IV... suddenly I forgot all the reasons I was opposed to pain meds... Matt says I didn't open my eyes for 2 hours after that. : ) zzzzz.....

I only remember snippets during that time. Flashes of the bathroom... Matt texting... the nurse trying to kill me... the Doc coming in... then leaving! the NERVE!

When he finally came back it was go time, and the nubain had just worn off. Fantastic. All my you-tube, google, and TLC-guided research told me that it wouldn't be long now. Riiiight. It was a few hours of go time, not merely 10 minutes. Since I was med-free at that point, I remember that part quite clearly. Gory details aside, Matt did awesome. I've always wondered if he could handle it since he nearly passed out once when *I* gave blood. He was a pro. Leg-holding and all. Go Matt is all I can say.

Eventually, that gooey little pointy-headed giant was plopped in my arms and I was in complete awe. He was so big! And so tiny! And so human! And so, so perfect...

Matt cut the cord (he wasn't sure about it), the Dr. collected the cord blood (maybe the topic of a future post), and off he went. Dude... I just had a baby. What? The next few days were filled with the same thoughts mixed with overwhelming love for this little person I had just met. I honestly didn't think I'd be one of those love-at-first-sight people. I was keeping the receipt, remember? When we got home I couldn't even listen to music for about a week because even the dumbest stuff on the radio sent me into a sob-fest over the little guy. I totally blame hormones. Matt got to stay home with us the entire first week and it was so surreal. I've never felt the Spirit in my home as much as I did then. Pretty sure I've never even felt it as strong in the temple as I did in our home. We had a real, live angel in our midst. Not only could I see this one, but I could snuggle and kiss him all over, all day and night!

And we did.

And we do.

Mason is the coolest. We are so completely smitten and have sooo much to share with everyone about him. I am now officially an obnoxious mommy blogger who will gush about their kid non-stop because I get it now. So if you've made it this far down this ridiculously long post, I assume you'll probably read all the ones to come about our new life as a family of 3! Wow, you need a hobby!

: ) This is my newest --->

Nursery Rhymes

(Matt narrating here...) Meghan has always loved Dr. Seuss and has always imagined that his stories and characters would be a perfect nursery theme. In fact, several years ago, she and her brother, Michael, went shopping and found some Dr. Seuss bedding and towels that were the perfect start for the nursery. That day cemented the theme and so we've been working towards that ever since. Meghan has even collected many of the stuffed animals and packed them away for "someday" as she's found them available.

"Someday" came with our 6th anniversary week in March when we found out we were expecting. So although we've had many decisions to make since we found out, the nursery is one that we didn't have to hash out. So we embarked on a mission to create a Dr. Seuss-themed nursery.

Much like with the cakes Meghan creates, Meghan took the lead in creating the vision for the room. She took measurements of the room and created a scaled cardstock model of the walls of the room. With that, she thumbed through Dr. Seuss' works to find characters and scenes that she wanted to portray. She then carefully sketched the characters and backgrounds onto cardstock and waited for me to get home from work. One Monday evening our Family Home Evening was spent shopping for crayons and then coming home and deciding which colors would look best in the room.

Later that week we took that model along with the quilt fabric that we had picked out for the crib quilt and made a trip to Lowe's for paint. You should have seen the look of the the young lady when we put 12 paint swatches on the counter and asked her if she could mix them up (about half an hour before they closed, no less). Her name was Megan and she was very helpful. We showed her the model and she made us promise we would come bring her pictures of our progress.

Then the fun started. And it was fun... at first. We started with One Fish.

We found a pictures of the 4 namesakes of one of Dr. Seuss' works and projected them on the wall from our computer. We painted the yellow first, then red, then the background colors, and then the black lines. Ah, those blasted black lines. They are so delicate and small, yet they essentially make the characters Seussical, so you can't do without them. That first weekend we finished the fish, but it was then that we realized that it was the middle of August, it took a whole weekend to do 4 characters, and Meg was due in less than 3 months!

One Fish

Two Fish

Red Fish

Blue Fish

PANIC! We did. As a comic side note, we were also in the midst of a bathroom remodel at this time. We hired someone to tile the bathroom and... let's just say it didn't turn out as planned, so we took it back down to the studs to start over. You would laugh if I told you how many bathtubs we went through and I won't go into the details of that here, but it was a busy time at the Ruggles' House at that time. Much of this was done while I was in a walking boot from a surgery to repair a badly torn ligament. Needless to say poor Meghan has had a lot to deal with during her pregnancy. If it doesn't kill you...

Meg kept busy and over the next two weeks she had painted signs on the small portion of the wall between the bedroom door and a good portion of another corner. The Lorax was happily perched in his Truffula trees.

The Signs

The Lorax and his Truffula Trees

Several days later we started on the Oh, the Places You'll Go Corner and made some pretty good progress. It was at this point that we gave up on painting the black lines with a brush and went to a much more efficient way... the PAINT PEN. So you'll better appreciate how much the black lines change the scenes, see the before and after of the Oh The Places You'll Go Scene.

Oh The Places You'll Go--No Lines

Oh The Places You'll Go--Lines Added

That same week, we started to feel the crunch even more. With less than 2 months left before the due date we had 3 corners painted. It began to be less fun and more work. We began working several long days into the mornings of the next day. We finished the scene under the window that has a neat architectural feature with Yertle the Turtle as the main character.

Yertle the Turtle

A little over a week later, Meghan noticed one of the areas was going to look too green with just grass, so intricately painted Horton in the mist of a field of flowers looking for the clover with the spec that contained Who-ville.

Horton

That same week Rosann came and painted much of the solid sky colors around the characters which really helped motivate us with a breath of fresh air. Although painting the characters added a lot to the room, the large areas of white were pretty overwhelming. With the sky filled in around many of the characters, the room began looking as though we might possibly get it done it time.

We started a painting on one of the larger wall scenes that came from Oh the Places You'll Go. It's a scene in which these strange-looking bikes are rolling a mound of earth. With some creative liberties we got much of the scene done mid-to late-September.But, the earthmound needed some characters. Meg added Sam I Am and the Sneetches. But, the mound needed a little extra mischief from Thing 1 and Thing 2. We finished painting them before the shower on Sept 24th, about 6 weeks before our little guy arrives.

The Sneetches

Sam I Am

So, for a final, full-span look at the entire room, see the four pictures below:

It's been a labor of Love. So, if you don't know why Truffula Trees are so valuable, or the potential worth of a spec on a flower, or the insignificance of star-bellies, or why the bottom turtle could be the most important... well, you may just have to come by and sit and listen to a Dr. Seuss nursery rhyme.

free fallin'

i'm always amazed at how little changes in the weather can affect my outlook on life... i love fall, and i didn't realize that until a year or two ago. the beautiful weather and anticipation of holidays gets me more than a little nostalgic.

this fall will be a little different. matt's work schedule has changed due to a "turn around" that he has a role in. as of last week, he works 5pm-5am, 7 days a week until thanksgiving, with every 14th day off. its not anything we expected to dodge indefinitely but it pretty much sucks now that its here. don't get me wrong, i cherish me time, but its already getting old, boring, and lonely not having matt home at night and not seeing him long (if at all) before he leaves in the afternoon. i'm afraid as it begins to get dark earlier and the holidays approach, it will get even harder to keep the serotonin firing on all cylinders... they're finicky enough as it is.

one thing that has kept me quite busy is my job. i started teaching chemistry at lamar this semester to fill a few retiree vacancies in the faculty and will be there at least through may. i never saw myself as a teacher (still kinda don't) and didn't apply for the job, but was asked if i wanted to do it. the first few weeks i was so stressed out that i started having palpitations! i had to wear a heart monitor and they figured out it was something like superventricular tachycardia... niiice... anyway, it has stopped and i'm more comfortable at work now. its still weird, especially when 40somethings call me mrs. ruggles, and my former teacher (who intimidated me to tears one day in organic lab) asked me to call her by her first name.

however, doogie howser complex aside, i'm fairly certain i want this to be my career, as long as i get to do research too. so the ph.d. is definitely on the horizon. i'm planning on talking with a few professors in the coming weeks to try to get a better idea of what field to pursue... more on that later...

the gen. rs meeting was last weekend, general conference was this weekend and i'm going to time out for women next weekend. i've tried to take a few things from each session but i think i've already reached my saturation point! anyway, some things have stuck:

-- "Simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistication." -L. DaVinci

-- a very cool perspective on the mirrors in temple sealing rooms was explained by Elder G.W. Gong. probably my favorite talk.

-- Faith is a gift, a choice, and an action. and a concept that tends to evade me... especially the choice part.

hopefully time out will be good. i know there will be something there for me if i can fight off the cynicism, but a friend told me it was "like efy for old ladies." : ) wish me luck!

a week of firsts...

1. i defended my thesis on monday, finally! it was extra cool because matt, and my mom came to watch even though their only interest in the research was me. they suffered through it though! made me feel like a little kid in their school play waving to their family out in the crowd and then glowing when eye contact was made.

anyway, i was actually quite nervous about the whole thing the day before, which is a bit unusual for me. matt offered to give me a blessing that morning and let me just say, it made everything better. after the general questions from the audience, everyone is asked to leave and then i get drilled by my committee. its like some sort of initiation process since the first time you see what actually happens is when you're doing it. they weren't too hard on me... it could have been worse, i guess. so then i get asked to step out while they deliberate over whether i will pass and graduate or fail and have to repeat a portion of my degree....

i passed!!

it was a wonderful feeling. glad i got to share it with some of my fam.

2. the next day was fairly uneventful, consisting of shopping all over town for the exact paper specified by the graduate office to print my thesis on for binding. then having it printed... that was interesting. so that evening, i hadn't done my workout for the day and it was almost dark. matt said, "get up. go put your shoes on, you'll thank me later." ummm.... no!? i don't feel like it! go away you skinny workout nazi! well, he won. then he said, "you're doing the mile tonight, no stopping." what?! i don't even want to go and now you're going to make me do something i've never ever been able to do?? eh?! i know a mile doesn't sound like much to most normal humans, but even when i was the average active little kid, i NEVER ran the whole way in PE. i was in the walker crowd even at the age of 9. so the mile has always been this sort of glowing genie lamp of fitness, attainable only to those who wear funny pants.

since it was late, we ditched our usual 2-mile walk/jog route and mapped out another one before we left that was exactly 1 mile...

aaaannnndd we're off... i was MAD. but i knew he was right, which always makes it worse!

we made about 3 blocks, i turn right, he says go straight.... he comes with me, because i ignore him.

a block or two later he says he thinks we're going the wrong way. i snap back, "if you think i'm wrong then go your own way!"

silence... for most of the way home.

at one point i was thinking, surely the turn around should be coming up soon?! gahh!! but alas, i made it the entire way home... NO STOPPING!! yaaayy!!

once we got home, we mapped out our actual route only to find that it was 1 1/2 miles! and i still made it! so i've still never done a mile, per say, but i'll take it. i've always been told that running is a head game and now i totally believe it. i'm sure glad to have a hubby who makes me better than i can be by myself. we're planning for a 5k in the fall : )

3. wednesday, i was offered a job for next school year! can't share details yet but i am still a little shocked/excited about it. will tell more when i can, but yay for unexpected income!

4. so since i missed last week's update, here's the news: i'm down another 5.6 lbs in the last two weeks! the total since the beginning of april: 11.8. only 3.2 more and i get new running shoes. good thing my rewards system is more generous than my credit card's.

graduation is next saturday, but i'm not looking forward to losing my gym membership. i'm still too cheap to join one that doesn't include its fees in my tuition. so i plan to start the torture of p90x the following week as an alternative. yeah... i'll let you know how that goes.

april showers... may flowers??

lets see if i can organize a few thoughts... feeling pretty scatter-brained today.

1. my thesis defense was not today. a guy from the university of houston came and gave a lecture at my scheduled time, so i got bumped... all the way to may 3rd. AND thats a monday. yaaaaay. i'm telling myself that it will be great anyway.

2. i was not at the seminar today because i was at a funeral in buna for the bishop, henry westbrook. i'll admit, all i really knew of him was from when he was on the high council and would visit our ward. he was funny, and will be sorely missed. there was a huge outpouring of love from the ward, stake, and community. i've never seen so many flowers at an adult's funeral.

i was asked to sing, which is never fun at a funeral. except at this time yesterday, i could barely speak because my spring allergies are in full effect. after a frantic call-in and trip to my dr., she hooked me up with a steroid shot. this morning, i was channeling a little more norah jones raspy-ness than usual, but other that that, it was at least a 90% improvement. thank goodness for modern medicine! and insurance!!

3. speaking of funerals... i hate them. i feel like in my 25 years, i've reached the quota of a 50 year old. and what's worse, probably half of them have been for people younger than me. life sucks sometimes, but it sucks way less than death. at least for those of us left here to deal.

and did i mention how completely dreary the weather is today? nothing like a rainy funeral. the day katie left us, it started raining that evening and didn't stop for three whole weeks. seriously, not one dry day. heaven couldn't stop crying, neither could the rest of us. and theres a song tied to that whole time called "sometimes he lets it rain." maybe someday i'll tell you about that.

4. anyway, on a lighter note, its the end of week 3, and i lost another 2.2 lbs, making 6.2! yeah, it doesn't sound like much, i know. and i would definitely already be kicked off the biggest loser, but hey... this is reality, and i feel good about the changes that we've been making. since moving to beaumont a few months ago, i've lost a little over 15, by changing day-to-day things, kicking some bad habits. what's more, i haven't had anything to drink but h2o since the end of march. YAY! thats huge for me.

so here's to another week of staying ON the band wagon... whatever that means. : )

great expectations...

well i'm at the end of week two... and first of all, thank you for all your sweet comments on last week's post. you confirmed my fears that a) other eyes do in fact see what i'm writing, and b) now i really do have to be accountable... thanks a lot, guys.

a few things since last we spoke:

1. went camping with brother and his family. we only got to stay one night but it was wonderful. i didn't even turn on my phone for almost 2 days. bliss... and other than being pretty chilly at night, the weather was amazing. i'll take cold over suffocating heat and humidity any day. carrie and i went fishing for a few hours and i caught 3 perch. BUT, they were used as bait the next day and my bro caught a HUGE-mongous catfish... so i like to think i contributed to that, ya know. thanks paul and carrie for letting us crash your very first real camping trip! i still can't believe that, by the way.

2. we got our flower beds outlined with the stones i bought last week... all 1400 lbs of them. oh, and we have patio chairs now. nothing fancy (we're holding out on a real set), but comfy. and now i sit on my very own back porch in my very own chairs and enjoy my very own little patch of grass... and weeds. but we're working on that.

3. i'm so flippin close to busting through 2 of my workout goals... next week, they're toast. matt went "jogging" with me yesterday, if you can call it that. oh his patient soul... i won't say how far i made it but i will say it was the longest i've ever gone. as in, ev-er. and matt did more than twice that, all while saying how long it had been since he'd worked out, and that he was sooo out of shape, yadda, yadda... thanks, dear.

but really, that aside, he was the best coach yesterday. he makes me feel like a superstar. the extra little comments about how my face looks different or how those pants look loose (as if you can actually tell a difference after a few pounds) don't hurt either. and whether he's lying or not... doesn't bother me! just keep 'em coming babe! : )

4. so with that, this week's report is only 1.5 meager lbs. i was expecting more... but i'm pretty sure that aunt flo is getting the blame for that... after all, she gets the blame for everything else, right? right. well, and i may or may not have indulged in a strawberry s'more during our little camp out. : /

so the total is only 4 so far... but my chubby ankles are shrinking, so i'm calling it a win!

'bout time...

well hello again! so much to catch up on...

1. christmas break = 10 days in angelfire, nm... skiing, family, snow... absolute BLAST!

2. matt has settled in at work finally... i was hating that he wasn't liking it at first. its better now though, and he's even getting a new assignment in a few months. hoping for the best.

3. i'm graduating THIS semester! as in, 6 weeks from now! thesis is turned in to committee and graduate office, practice defense tomorrow, real thesis defense in 2 weeks. yeeeeeah...

4. ripped out/replanted flower beds in the back. chickened out and started there before delving into the front. looks great but the plant budget definitely doesn't go as far as i expected.

ok, well the real reason for today's update is because of a few other breakthroughs i thought i'd share with the class. referring to #3 above, (can you tell i've been writing a thesis for 2 months?) the impending completion of my schooling for now has come sooner than i expected, even though its a semester longer than i planned. not following? let me explain:

matt and i just celebrated our FIFTH anniversary... time absolutely flies. we've always planned to wait to start our family until i was finished with school, partly because i've been in a lab all the time with weird chemicals that aren't good for growing a human inside of you... and partly because the thought pretty much scares the patooie out of me....

anyway, graduation is here, almost, meaning i better start getting over that quick, right? well anyone who's seen me knows i've packed on more pounds than i care to admit. did you think i didn't notice? i've done the yoyo thing since i was in high school, but since becoming a mrs., my yoyo has been stuck! on the wrong yo! to top off the whole "i'm not old/wise/mature/good enough to be a parent" freakout, i can barely fathom getting pregnant, and being even bigger.. whoa... i don't think i could handle that.

i guess my point is, i've realized that if i don't start fixing some things now, i'll never be ready, physically or mentally. and that would be a shame because man, my little people will have an amazing dad, just sayin...

so i know other people deal with this crap too. a friend of mine has been on some crazy diet (not sure about details) and has been posting her progress each week on facebook. shes doing fabulously well by the way. but since fb is way too public for my taste, and their use of "friend" is meaningless, i'm going to do the same on here. maybe it will help hold me accountable!

this is what i'm doing:

in my opinion, its like the word of wisdom, only in scientific terms (so of course i liked it). it does seem a little extreme, especially if you're used to southern, cajun, and mexican food like our families love. but once you get past what you can't have and focus on what you can, its easier. and the bottom line for me is: i feel sooooo much better when i follow this.

oh, and i'm quite literally working my butt off. i've never been a fan of hard workouts. you're surprised, i know, but it is what it is. i'm trying to get into shape, something other than globular. also, i will be a "ma" for the handcart trek coming up in june, and i'd really rather not actually die on the trail. i hear helicopter rides to the hospital are expensive!

so for my sixweeksuntilgraduationgottadosomethingfast goal... i'm down 2.5 lbs. see you next week!

but seriously... get the book, read it.